Share your survival (or non-survival) story.

She raped me in a dark alley.

I now have to peel peanuts for a living, and ironically I earn less than peanuts. I sold my leg so I could get an hour of internet to post this.

If things keep going like this, I'll soon be hoarded by necrophiliacs galore (eep!)

She sneezed on me in a busy subway, thus somehow giving me the black plague and leprosy.
I have now tragically turned into a panther instead of a leper(d). My flesh has rotted off my bones and I have no thumbs.
After that, she ran me over with a semi-truck and now I am roadkill on the side of interstate 24. I am somehow typing this from beyond the grave, without thumbs.

Every weekend, Nyc comes down to the underworld to visit me and kick me in my exposed ribs. :C
Beware of the skinless leper-panther!

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Now & forever moved to ~Infipus~

She shoved gravel down my throat and left me for dead in a dumpster. I had to fight with a gang of raccoons to get enough food to get the strength to free myself D:.

BUT NOW I'M BACK, YOU HEAR? I'll get you yet...

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A place for Jerkass Literate Roleplayers

I do commissions!

She sealed me in a box with a subatomtic particle in an attempt to explain Schrodinger's theory of putative incompleteness of quantum mechanics. I still don't understand and am now not sure whether I am living or dead.

Why did you do that?

Am I a zombie?

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Woopsa daisies!