Can you give me a critique?

Sure. Please send me a Note with what 1) you'd like me to focus on, 2) the link/thumb to the specific deviation, and 3) any other relevant comments.

***Mind, it usually takes an hour for me to write up a critique, and I might not get to it. I tend to prioritize my responses to people who are proactive and are interested enough to make an effort and view my gallery. I do quite a few freebies, so it's not necessary.***

1. Q. I saw you offer critique in the [insert random cyberplace].
A. That's not a question.


2. Q: How many thumbs should I post? How many deviations would you look at?
A: I don't really care, but if you post 2654246 thumbs and ask for critique, I'll roll my eyes and click x.


3. Q. You commented on something of mine. Did you know you're wrong[/rude/dumb/ignorant/3-years-old]?
A. Yes, and you forgot "satan-worshiping-liberal-spawn-that-kicks-puppies".


4. Q. I added something of yours to my fav gallery, and/or watched you. Does that mean I get endless critique on every single piece I submit from now on? Or on all 541278 deviations I have in my gallery?
A. No.


5. Q. Well, does it make you more likely to critique?
A. Maybe. I do like getting faves, watches, and comments. I enjoy talking to people, as well.


6. Q. I'd like to discuss something you said in a mature fashion. How do I do that?
A. Not in all caps. I'm open to notes, comments, replies, and any other form of messages. (I don't check my email, so that's a black hole).


7. Q. I asked you to look at something of mine ages (well, a couple days) ago. Where's my comment?
A. Contrary to popular belief, I have a life.


8. Q. What kind of art do you look at?
A. Anything. I don't know a thing about some art forms, but I do my best to leave a solid comment.


9. Q. You = wrong.
A. Critique = opinion. Fascist.


10. Q: So you commented on something of mine. If I message you that I uploaded something and want your opinion, will you comment more-more-MOAR?
A: No. It's give and take. I freely offer my opinions on my first visit to your gallery, but if you make zero effort to even pretend to view my art or talk to me, why should I keep giving? I'm not an altruistic masochist.


11. Q: I noticed that you hide some comment replies and comments on your profile page. YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING!11!!eleven
A: Not really. I hide irrelevant replies (not having to do with the deviation) and shallow comments like "Thanks for the fave!!!!". I'd never hide a real comment, or a flame.


12. Q: What! You think you're better than me? You can't write(/draw/paint/photograph)!!
A: Errr, I can say if I enjoyed a movie without being a director, a concert without being a musician, food without being a chef. It's called an opinion. ;]


13. Q: Y U NO WATCH ME BACK?
A: One of the following reasons - a) your watch came with 0 communication and so you're probably racking up watches for freebie comments, b) I forgot/haven't gotten around to responding, or c) I don't like you.


14. Q: I've posted to your critical thread before. Comment plz?
A: Maybe; if I feel like it. Like I said, first one's free, but after that, pretend to make an effort, k?


15. Q: I responded to your critique with a very in-depth explanation of why you are completely wrong. Why didn't you respond with huggles?
A: Because you have wasted my time (me writing up an honest response based on my opinion) and your own time (you thinking I cared about your rationalizations of why your art is, in fact, perfect). Next time, spare yourself and the critic; don't post on a critical thread.