Haemolacria

So this is me trying out the critique feature once more...

I really like the beginning here. The opening line is an interesting and powerful image, and one that I've never seen anywhere else before. And the following image is just as interesting (though I had to read your "middle school" comment in order to really get it.)

The mood and athmosphere of this poem are really nice, and you build them up extremely well. The most interesting thing to me, is how the poem comes in a circle, by having the last two stanzas mirror the first ones without repeating them. That creates an interesting effect, and I think it makes the reader more satisfied to have read the poem, because an intent is clearly visible.

I also like your use of enjambements (do they call them like that in English, too?) and the placement of your line breaks. It gives the poem structure without being too obvious about it. In this case a rhyme structure would work against the content, but the placement of the stanzas and their specific length structures it even better.

Overall, really nice work.